btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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