Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
