I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
