i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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