the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
