I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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