...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize