from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I skipped work to stalk him.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
