She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
