Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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