You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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