Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize