its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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