he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
