dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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