Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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