do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
