no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
