idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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