Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
