You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's shark week go big or go home
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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