I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need a beard to bite.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
