I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im having a threesome with these popsicles
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
