You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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