Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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