I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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