Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can vaginas get frostbite?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
