some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
