he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
