Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
