Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
