there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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