I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize