I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
