Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
