I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize