But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
