So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize