You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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