you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This toilet bowl is my home.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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