i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize