I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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