I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
