And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
