Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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