is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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