Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
