"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
