Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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