I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
