best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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