Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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