Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
