Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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