the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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