He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
