Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize