fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
