he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
