U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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