i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize