look no pants
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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