someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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