Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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